Detachment.  I hate it.  I FUCKING HATE IT! I can’t do it! I’m no good at it! Codependency sucks! Detachment sucks! IT ALL JUST SUCKS!  It’s the hardest thing to walk away from situations/people that you know are absolutely NO GOOD FOR YOU, when you’re a codependent.  I’m strong for a few days but then I crumble and come crawling back. I seriously hate this part of myself.  Why can’t I be strong?? What am I so scared to let go for??

When it comes to letting people go it’s literally like I feel like I’ll never find anyone else and I’m so scared to be alone that I just keep settling for things that aren’t worth my time.  I know I deserve better. I ALWAYS know this.  But why can’t I DO better?  How many times can I sit here and scream at myself that I’m making a mistake and that I deserve a thousand times better than I’m getting, before I actually believe myself?! It’s so frustrating.  I just feel like I’m drowning.  You think you’re making progress but then you realize you’re not.

Codependency.  It’s like a noose around my neck, slowly choking me.  Shackles around my wrists, keeping me bound.

It just sucks.  It all just sucks….

Advertisements